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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25153837">A Song for Her</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alexander_L/pseuds/Alexander_L'>Alexander_L</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>You and I and the stories we tell – A collection of Ferdinand/Hubert oneshots [13]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Established Relationship, Gen, M/M, Mentioned Edeleth, POV Hubert von Vestra, Post-Black Eagles Route (Fire Emblem: Three Houses), Soft Ferdinand von Aegir, Soft Hubert von Vestra, Workaholic Hubert von Vestra</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 03:48:58</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>7,124</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25153837</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alexander_L/pseuds/Alexander_L</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>As Edelgard steps down as emperor to follow her heart and live a free life, Hubert and Ferdinand are forced to face the idea of what their own lives could be like outside of the roles that have been expected of them since birth.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Edelgard von Hresvelg &amp; Hubert von Vestra, Ferdinand von Aegir/Hubert von Vestra</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>You and I and the stories we tell – A collection of Ferdinand/Hubert oneshots [13]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1794589</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>54</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>A Song for Her</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Shout out to thiazin_red for proposing the interesting concept for this! I hadn't considered writing Ferdinand &amp; Hubert this much later after the war but now it really intrigues me. Thanks for suggesting it! This is also my first time really writing Edelgard which was really fun. I love her lighthearted teasing side.</p><p>I'm curious to hear what y'all's headcanons are on how retired life goes for Ferdinand &amp; Hubert. There are so many different ways it could go!</p><p>Also, please forgive the lengthy aspect of this oneshot. I could not condense it further. I hope it does not drag on. There was so much I wanted to fit into it...</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <h3>Hubert</h3><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>“I would like-” Edelgard pauses, taking a sip of her wine with a thoughtful expression. </p><p>“If the answer is another glass, I am afraid I cannot help you. We are out. It appears <em> someone </em> has polished off all of my finest bottles,” Ferdinand says with a pointed look. He is sitting at the foot of the sofa Edelgard is lying on and she kicks him lightly in the shoulder, drawing a laugh from him.</p><p>“What would you like?” I ask, walking over with glasses of water for her and Ferdinand, for they are both tipsy enough they will have hangovers in the morning if they are dehydrated. It is astonishing and dismal how much alcohol tolerance fades even in one’s thirties. </p><p>Edelgard drains the rest of her wine glass and sets it to the side, taking the water instead with a nod of thanks. She scoots over to make room for me and I sit down on her other side. Slinging her legs over Ferdinand’s lap, she leans against me and I put my arm around her shoulders. </p><p>Even after all these years, it still makes me smile to see her so relaxed. When we were young, I never thought I would see her this way. No matter how fiercely she loved her friends, she never opened up to them and she distanced herself from physical contact of any kind. In the stiffness of my formal manner back then, I never bridged that gap, even when she could have used the comfort of a friendly touch. </p><p>It was Ferdinand who helped break through her reserve eventually. It was a slow process, one that occurred so gently and gradually over the course of a decade that I barely noticed it happening. With his warm nature, he made us family. And as the strict roles we played during the war and the rebuilding of Fódlan eased, that kind of familiarity began to at last feel acceptable.</p><p>In moments like this, where it is hard to even remember a time when Edelgard would have shied away from resting in my arms and joking around with Ferdinand, I am exceptionally grateful of his influence on her. Once gestures of affection grew normal, I realized how touch-starved she has been her whole life and how comforting it is to her to feel so close with the only two people she can let her guard down around.</p><p>It has helped me learn to loosen up too and acquiesce finally to her wish for me to be her friend rather than her retainer. </p><p>Yes, I would not trade moments like this for the world. When I fought for a better Fódlan, I never imagined it was a world I would get to live in with two people so dear to me at my side. If I could have seen this future back then, I would have been a much stronger and more hopeful man. Unlike Ferdinand, who has always been able to believe in things without seeing them, I couldn’t fathom a life like this and thus I never considered it a possibility.</p><p>“I would like,” Edelgard begins again, “to travel.”</p><p>“The weather is marvelous for sailing this time of year,” Ferdinand says. “You could go to Brigid and bring back some new plants for Bernadetta when she visits next moon!”</p><p>Edelgard is quiet for a long moment, then she says, “I don’t mean a short visit to somewhere. I mean that I would like to see the world and go places where no one would know who I am. I want-” She swallows and in a quiet, strained voice says, “to have a life. I don’t know how long I have or how far the treatments are able to extend my lifespan. I want to live the years I have, whether they are ten or fifty, and do all the things I never thought I’d be able to.”</p><p>My heart aches at the longing in her voice and I know it affects Ferdinand too because his cheerful smile fades to a calm, earnest look.</p><p>“What are some of the things?” he asks softly.</p><p>She smiles, sad and eager at the same time somehow. “I want to go places that make me want to paint and I want to cut and dye my hair so no one recognizes me. But-” She catches herself and stops. It is the third time she has shown such hesitance and it is unlike her to be reticent these days.</p><p>I squeeze her shoulder and say, “Tell us.”</p><p>“I want to not be alone,” she admits.</p><p>Ferdinand gives her a wounded, puppy-dog look and she laughs. “I know. I’m not alone. But you know what I mean. I want to fall in love, to have someone who loves me too.” Her tone takes on a wistful edge towards the end and it is not difficult to guess her thoughts.</p><p>“Her mercenary troop is in Oghma at the moment, taking care of a demonic beast problem in a village just south of the mountains,” I offer and Edelgard glances up at me sharply, looking both relieved and a little betrayed that I exposed her thoughts so bluntly.</p><p>“You think I would ever let someone so important to you slip away? I have her travels monitored constantly to make sure she is safe and to know where she is so that when this day finally came you would be able to go to her,” I add.</p><p>“Hubert!” Ferdinand says. “How dare you act so smug like you knew all along that it would come to this.”</p><p>“I seek always to anticipate her highness’s wishes and prepare for them,” I say in a dry monotone but with a bit of a smirk to belie it.</p><p>Edelgard laughs and the sound is so pure and hopeful it brings a real smile to my face.</p><p>“I keep telling myself that I will choose a successor and leave as soon as I have things in order,” she says. “But there just keep being more things to put in order! I think there always will be. And I think that if I don’t leave now I never will.”</p><p>“You have never had the luxury of pursuing your own happiness. I hope you will choose it now. Ferdinand and I can take care of things on our own and train whomever you appoint as your successor,” I reassure her.</p><p>“Indeed. Don’t worry. The empire will be in the capable hands of its ‘Two Jewels,’” Ferdinand says and I groan at his reference to the ridiculous name coined in a newspaper headline. To my horror, it has caught on among the people and now I fear we shall never live it down.</p><p>“Someday historians will write a book about you two and call it that,” Edelgard says with a snicker and Ferdinand shoots her a grin.</p><p>“Historians? I intend to use it as the title of my autobiography someday!” he says.</p><p>He and Edelgard banter back and forth for another few minutes then Ferdinand comments on how cold it has gotten in the room and gets up to fetch some more wood for the fire. As he walks out of the room, Edelgard sits up and pulls out of my arms, turning to level her grave, piercing gaze on me.</p><p>“What’s the matter?” I ask.</p><p>“There is one more thing I wish for,” she says.</p><p>“And what is that? If it is in my power, I will make it happen.”</p><p>She smiles and reaches out to cup my cheek in her hand. “I want you to be free too.”</p><p>“Free? From what?”</p><p>“The expectations and duties that have laid out the path ahead of you your whole life without you ever having a say in the matter.”</p><p>“I chose my path, my lady,” I say, returning to our old formality for emphasis. Because even now, with such warmth between us, she is still the leader I swore a lifelong oath to respect and support as much as she is my friend. “It was never obligation that aligned it with yours.”</p><p>She moves her hand away from my face and rests it on my arm instead. “I’m not telling you to step down. Adrestria still needs you. But I am asking you to prepare for the eventuality of retirement. You and Ferdie have worked from dawn to dusk every day for over a decade now. So please, for his sake, for my sake, take more time for yourself. Work four or five hours a day and use the rest to start figuring out the things that bring you joy. When my successor is properly trained and the new government of Fódlan comes into effect, the people will elect a new prime minister and Ferdinand will have to step down. Step down with him. You can keep your spies and monitor everything that goes on, but you can choose finally to not let it consume your every waking hour. Please, consider it.”</p><p>Edelgard studies my expression, waiting anxiously for a reply. But I am too stunned to provide one.</p><p>Retirement? Has she lost her mind?</p><p>“I am only thirty-eight,” I say after several minutes.</p><p>“Most people assume the responsibilities of their station at twenty. You took on yours at six, Hubert. You have earned an early retirement even more than I have.”</p><p>I am saved from responding by Ferdinand returning to the room with an armload of firewood and depositing it in the hearth.</p><p>“I was wrong!” he says with his back to us as he stokes the fire, unaware of the serious conversation he has interrupted. His voice is a little loud, his mood bolstered from the liquor, and I wince. “There is still one bottle left!” he continues. “The reprobate who has been shamelessly pilfering my stock of Gloucester rosé missed a bottle because it was tucked behind some of Hubert’s dreadful whiskey!”</p><p>Edelgard pats my arm with a fond smile, then gets up and asks, “Would you like another glass then, Ferdie?”</p><p>“Yes, please. How kind of you to offer me my own wine,” he replies dryly.</p><p>“You know what?” she says, walking past him to the door. “I miss the days before Hubert introduced you to the concept of sarcasm.”</p><p>“I haven’t the slightest idea what you mean. I am Ferdinand von Aegir! Sarcasm does not become me. I am sincere to a fault. Everyone knows this.” He scoffs. “Sarcasm? Perish the thought.”</p><p>Edelgard swears under her breath and leaves the room, heading towards the kitchen. </p><p>When Ferdinand finishes stoking the fire, he returns to the sofa and flops down in my lap, throwing his arms around my neck and kissing me clumsily with a little too much tongue and far more passion than is appropriate for the moment. </p><p>He must notice my distracted manner because he pulls back and asks, “Did something happen while I was gone?”</p><p>“We will speak of it later,” I answer.</p><p>“Later,” he repeats with a nod, although concern remains etched across his expression.</p><p> Picking up his abandoned water glass, I place it in his hands and give him a stern look. “Drink this before more wine or you will have a headache in the morning.”</p><p>“Thank you. I have an eight o’clock with the leader of the blacksmith union. That man is used to shouting over the noise of forges and his loud voice will shatter me if I am hungover.”</p><p>“I will make sure I am far away from your office during that hour. Thank you for the warning.”</p><p>Edelgard returns then with her glass refilled and her lighthearted composure restored. And for the rest of the evening, we set aside serious topics, enjoying each other’s company until well into the night. </p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p> </p><p><em> Later </em> does not come until the following afternoon when Ferdinand steps into my office for the hour-long tea and coffee break that we indulge in every day as our one reprieve from work until the evening. It has been our custom since before the war and the routine of it provides structure to my day that has helped me through many a long and arduous week.</p><p>We try to not let talk of work intrude upon this sacred hour, and yet today I cannot turn my mind away to anything else.</p><p>After several minutes of silence, Ferdinand sets down his tea cup and places his hand over mine on the table. “What is on your mind? You are worrying me, my dear.”</p><p>“What do you intend to do after you step down as prime minister?” I ask.</p><p>He blinks several times, a stunned look on his face. “I…”</p><p>“You don’t know either, do you?”</p><p>“Either?” he says. “Are you implying you will step back from leadership too when I do?”</p><p>“That is what Edelgard and I discussed last night. She wants me to retire after I help train her successor.” I give a huff of a laugh and add, “Can you imagine that? Me? Retired? Absurd. What would I do? Pace about the house slowly collapsing into the prison of my own mind?”</p><p>Ferdinand raises his eyebrows at my melodramatic wording and I give him a look that says, <em> ‘I have a point, though.’ </em></p><p>“Alright, yes. The idea of you not up to your ears in paperwork at all times is a difficult one to imagine. But that is only perhaps because you and I lack imagination. I am sure if we put our minds to it, we can find other ways to occupy ourselves and be useful.”</p><p>“Such as?”</p><p>“I know Bernadetta is in need of an editor for her novels.”</p><p>“And Dorothea needs an instructor for the pianoforte at her academy,” I fire back a little more sharply than I intend. “But do you really think a career in <em> the arts </em> is what you and I are cut out for? Maybe you, but I could never. I enjoy Bernadetta’s novels and would offer my services in my spare time, but to fill my days with such a pastime? It would be ridiculous. Hobbies are not work and without work I will go mad.”</p><p>Ferdinand nods at my speech and stares into his tea with faraway eyes. “Sometimes it strikes me that we gave our blood, sweat and tears to build a new world where noble status, crests and nationality would not determine a person’s life. We abolished the nobility system, and yet you and I linger on, its sole survivors, clinging to it as if we do not live in the world we ourselves created. Edelgard is eager to let go, but you and I have never even considered it a possibility.”</p><p>“I have never been bound to the nobility system, unlike you,” I answer. “I don’t know what you mean.”</p><p>“You have, in your own way. Our nobility has oft been the uniting factor between us,” he replies.</p><p>“You are either spouting nonsense or I am missing your point.”</p><p>“At its core, nobility is a set of rules dictating the life of the person born into it. Even though most are designed to profit them, others are not: the sacrifice of personal desire, the weight of expectation to conform to one’s predestined purpose… You and I have carved new paths for ourselves in life than the ones our fathers expected of us, but we have conformed nonetheless to the idea that we are not allowed to abandon our stations and do as we please. You have remained in the role of serving Edelgard as your ancestors served other emperors. And I have followed the expectations of my lineage as well. Just like a good noble does.”</p><p>He says the last line with a hint of bitter self-awareness in his tone and I wonder how long Ferdinand has been hiding the existential dissatisfaction his words betray. </p><p>I forego an immediate response to carefully consider what he said. After I have turned it over in my mind, I say, “Be that as it may, we are still unsuited for a life outside of these roles. Whether or not the systems that determined our fate were the very ones we ultimately tore down, those systems and our own choices have landed us here and it will be difficult, if not wholly impossible, to change who we are at this point.”</p><p>“We have already greatly changed who we are,” Ferdinand says. “We’ve hung on to the better parts of ourselves and worked to temper the worse. I do not think it is impossible to evolve further.”</p><p>I take a sip of my coffee, then offer him a small smile. “Ever the optimist.”</p><p>“I have been told it is my best quality,” he replies, returning my smile. “Although I think at the time that person had not yet experienced some of my other good qualities.”</p><p>“Indeed.” As I finish my cup and pour another, I add, “We have arrived upon no conclusions in this conversation, Ferdinand. What are we to do?”</p><p>“What did Edelgard suggest?”</p><p>“That instead of directly stepping down fully, we lighten our load and work less hours in the day until we have phased ourselves out of our roles.”</p><p>“A wise suggestion. Let us start with that once the successor is named.”</p><p>The thought sits uneasily within me but I nod. “I will consider it at least.”</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p> </p><p>Ferdinand arrives back at our flat before me that night, for I stay later at my office than normal. In the back of my mind, my conscience whispers that it was a petty, unnoticed act of rebellion against the idea of slowing down on my work, but I brush it aside, for whether it is true or not, it doesn’t matter. I am home now.</p><p>After hanging up my coat and changing out of my boots and into my house slippers, I follow the sound of music towards the living room curiously. Ferdinand does not play the pianoforte Edelgard gifted him much these days, favoring instead to train or go for long rides in his spare time to make up for his relatively sedentary job.</p><p>I wonder if it is a result of my comment about Dorothea’s music academy or if he just missed playing. Before I walk into the living room, I change my mind and linger in the hallway outside it to listen instead. I know if I enter, Ferdinand will likely stop to talk to me and I can’t bear to interrupt his practice.</p><p>Sitting down on the floor, I lean my back against the wall separating us and close my eyes, letting his music soothe the ache in my skull and the stress in my spirit. It brings me indescribable joy to listen to him play. </p><p>Although he hated being made to sit still long enough for music lessons as a child and happily abandoned the pianoforte as an adolescent, a wild hair possessed him five years ago to pick it up again. He had to start over from scratch and at first his rudimentary playing was a trial of patience to bear. </p><p>But he studied diligently, progressed quickly and soon flourished in his new-found passion. After a while, he grew disenchanted with the <em> ‘stodgy’ </em> work of the masters, favoring his own compositions which were focused more on evoking feeling than showing off technique. That is when I began to cherish his playing, for he poured his heart and soul into every measure.</p><p>Music was never a skill that was deemed valuable for me to acquire, and no matter how much Ferdinand has tried to teach me the basics, my fingers seem to lack the dexterity they once had. I wonder if they have been too damaged by dark magic to have the swiftness of motion and sensitivity of touch necessary. I am far happier listening than trying to join him anyways.</p><p>It takes me a moment to recognize the piece he is playing until I remember that it is an unfinished composition he worked on for several months. He was set on it being a three movement sonata, but only ever finished the first two. </p><p>But as the second movement, with its even tempo and major key, comes to an end, to my surprise he keeps playing, transitioning to a minor key and a far more fluid style. His strong, graceful fingers travel up and down the pianoforte in a sweeping melody of ever-changing rhythm and volume.</p><p>Gliding between octaves and switching here and there between minor and major chord arpeggios, it seems as if he weaves in every single key of the pianoforte at some point. The piece is more creative and experimental than his usual style and I wonder what has inspired such renewed passion and creativity in him.</p><p>As the new third movement comes to an end, applause startles me and I realize that Edelgard is in the living room listening to him when she says, “Ferdie! That was beautiful! When did you write that?”</p><p>“I have not written it yet,” he says. “It is but a rough bit of improvisation. It will take considerable work until it is even remotely passable.”</p><p>“You are too much of a perfectionist. It is wonderful the way it is.”</p><p>Ferdinand begins to argue with her about it and I stand up and go to the door. As I open it and set foot in the living room, they both look up at me eagerly.</p><p>“Edelgard is right,” I say. “It is already exemplary. To agonize over it might actually risk diminishing its quality.”</p><p>“Thank you both, sincerely. But since neither of you are musicians, I shall seek Dorothea’s opinion on the matter before I set to work writing it the way it is,” he replies.</p><p>I walk over to him and kiss the top of his head, whispering, “Keep playing, please.”</p><p>As he indulges my request, I sit down next to Edelgard and she resumes her favorite position of leaning against me with her head on my shoulder. She looks tired but relaxed, and tonight it is not from wine, for Ferdinand’s cabinet truly is empty now and neither of them will touch the hard liquor I prefer anymore.</p><p>“Hubert, sing with me,” Ferdinand says, as he plays a simple tune instead of one of his complex classical pieces.</p><p>“Absolutely not. I would never subject those dearest to me to such cruel torment,” I reply.</p><p>Ferdinand sighs in frustration. “You are impossible. Edelgard? How about you?”</p><p>She shakes her head, too resolute to give in to his big, pleading eyes. “I’m sorry. You are on your own.”</p><p>“Music is meant to be a collaborative form of entertainment,” he mutters.</p><p>But as he gets caught up in playing one of his favorite melodies, he stops complaining and starts to enjoy himself again. I watch him spell-bound for a while as he closes his eyes and plays on instinct rather than reading sheet music. He does not sit still and straight-backed while he plays as some musicians do. Instead he throws his whole body into it, swaying along with the music and betraying a bit of his dancer training with the way the graceful movement seems to come natural to him.</p><p>“Hubert,” Edelgard whispers after a while so as not to disturb Ferdinand’s playing.</p><p>“Yes?”</p><p>“Have you given any thought to what we talked about yesterday?”</p><p>“I have,” I say simply.</p><p>“Care to elaborate as to your conclusions?”</p><p>“My conclusion is that I am a hypocrite.”</p><p>My answer catches her off guard and she leans back to stare at me questioningly.</p><p>“I wish wholeheartedly for you to freely pursue your own happiness, but I censure myself at the mere thought of taking so much as a half-day off from my duties,” I explain.</p><p>“Do you think Ferdie feels the same? He has many interests in life unlike you, but he still puts his work above all else. I fear that he will struggle as much as you to step down.”</p><p>“I think he will. But he is adaptable. I, on the other hand, have gotten inflexible and set in my ways in my old age it seems,” I reply wryly.</p><p>Edelgard smiles. “What happened to being <em> only </em> thirty-eight?”</p><p>“I am an old soul.”</p><p>“Are you now?”</p><p>“Undoubtedly. If I am made to retire, all I shall do is read the newspapers and complain about current events and drink too much whiskey.”</p><p>She laughs at that mental image. “I’m sure Ferdinand would never allow you to become stiff and crotchety.”</p><p>“No, I don’t suppose he would. If I allow myself more free time, he will most likely demand much of it and drag me out to travel and traipse haphazardly from mishap to misadventure.”</p><p>“If you did not secretly love chaos you would not have vowed to spend your life with him.”</p><p>“I know you two are talking about me,” Ferdinand says, although he does not miss a note of the music as he speaks. “What slander are you spreading on my good name?”</p><p>“Hubert fears that you will grow cranky and dull if you don’t have work to keep you busy,” Edelgard replies and I elbow her.</p><p>“Cranky? Dull? Hubert, you spiteful man. I would never.”</p><p>“I said quite the opposite. Edelgard is just baiting me,” I reply.</p><p>“Are you implying our emperor is not an honest and just woman? Shameful,” he fires back.</p><p>“I am so sorry,” I murmur to Edelgard.</p><p>“For what?”</p><p>“Teaching him sarcasm. You are right. It was a terrible thing to do and I regret it deeply.”</p><p>She laughs and leans against me again. “Stop bickering with him and let me listen to the music. It’s been a long day.”</p><p>I want to point out that she is the one who started the banter but I do not want to distract from Ferdinand’s playing either so I stay silent and put my hand on the back of her head, guiding it to rest on my chest. As Ferdinand continues to fill the room with music, she drifts off to sleep, looking more peaceful than I have seen her in some time. </p><p>The thought of freedom and of seeing Byleth again is filling her with hope. It warms my heart to see it.</p><p>Ferdinand glances over and sees her sleeping. He meets my eyes with a soft smile and nods, switching to playing a quieter melody until eventually he tapers off and closes the lid of the instrument.</p><p>He comes over to sit on the other side of me and rests against my other shoulder with a yawn. Putting an arm around both of them, I relax against the back of the sofa and close my eyes.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p> </p><p>The hope only grows stronger in Edelgard as her successor is determined and appointed. </p><p>I watch her grow younger and more energetic by the day. She has always burned bright as a wildfire but now her flame flickers differently. It is not one that eats away at her, but rather one that enlivens her. </p><p>The day she straps her bag to the saddle of her wyvern and flies off to the Oghma mountains, Ferdinand bids her goodbye with tears. Edelgard clings to us both for several minutes, tears of her own in her eyes.</p><p>“Be happy,” she murmurs. “That’s my last order to you.”</p><p>“Yes, my lady,” I reply.</p><p>“You too,” Ferdinand says.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p> </p><p>I worry about her constantly.</p><p>I worry about the new government of Fódlan.</p><p>I worry about Ferdinand, who plays his pianoforte more but also paces restlessly about the flat and chatters about expeditions and research projects and charity endeavors with a lost and frantic look in his eyes.</p><p>I worry about the new Minister of the Imperial Household who has inherited shoes he will never fill despite the exhaustive ten-volume guide on how to do my job I left him with and the repeated assurances that he can contact me at any time with questions. He must know that I have spies monitoring his every action. I imagine that only increases the pressure he feels. </p><p>I cannot find sufficient ways to keep the anxiety from overtaking my mind and I withdraw deeper and deeper into myself. Even though I still spend half of my day working, the other half grows more interminable by the week.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p> </p><p>“I would like-” Ferdinand begins, as he sits on the edge of the bath and combs through his hair. He pauses to frown at a particularly obstinate tangle.</p><p>“Don’t you dare say cut your hair or I will divorce you.”</p><p>“We are unmarried.”</p><p>“Emotionally.”</p><p>“Good heavens.”</p><p>“What is it you’d like?” I ask, sitting up in the bath to look at him.</p><p>“I would like to teach, I think.”</p><p>“You are too late for Dorothea’s academy. She has filled the instructor position,” I reply, for nearly six months have passed since our first conversation on the matter.</p><p>“There might be an opening at Garreg Mach.”</p><p>“Do you really think you would be happy returning to Garreg Mach, with all the painful memories it holds?”</p><p>“There are many good memories,” he says, although he does not sound very convinced.</p><p>“But the painful are the ones that will surface. They are etched into the memory more vividly than happy ones, unfortunately. Such is the nature of the mind.”</p><p>He sighs. “Perhaps you are right. But we must do something! I am miserable and you are absolutely wretched!”</p><p>“You have been insisting that you are not miserable and are enjoying time to pursue your interests.”</p><p>“A delusion I can no longer abide,” he says with a dejected expression, giving up on the tangle of hair and setting his comb down. “At this point, I do not care what we do, so long as it would interest you. We could work at Linhardt’s research institute.”</p><p>I respond to the suggestion with a snort but Ferdinand continues on without acknowledging it.</p><p>“We could travel. We could go fight pirates off the Rhodos Coast. We could build a library. We could solve crimes!” he says. His eyes light up at his own idea and he climbs into the bath so eagerly he sloshes water over the side. Grabbing my hands, he looks into my eyes and says, “You love a good puzzle. Yes, we should be detectives!”</p><p>He gushes about the idea for another moment, painting word pictures of everything from the cases we will solve to the style of our uniforms. Then he realizes I am staring silently and penetratingly at him and he trails off.</p><p>“You do not want to solve crimes?” he asks.</p><p>“I do not want to see you in harm’s way day in and day out. Besides, if we were to face off against criminals, I would run into far too many people I know and I do not want a socially demanding job.”</p><p>Ferdinand loses his patience and says, “We must figure this out! We must! I will not stand for another hour of seeing you so miserable.”</p><p>“You have many things you can do. Don’t let my… disorientation right now sap them of their joy. I know there are many projects that would keep your interest and give you the purpose you want.”</p><p>He clutches my hands tighter and looks at me earnestly. “We have stood beside each other for half our lives. I do not want my path to diverge from yours now. Let us build our new life together, not each of us on our own.”</p><p>I gaze back at him, lost for words for quite some time. Then I tug my hands free and grab his waist, pulling him on top of me. Slipping my hands into his hair, I kiss him deeply and ardently.</p><p>He seems confused at my sudden passion but responds with enthusiasm and after a minute I push him off of me, step out of the bath and grab a towel.</p><p>“Come here,” I say, a little breathlessly, my heart pounding.</p><p>“I’ve only just gotten in,” he protests.</p><p>“Ferdinand-”</p><p>He gives in and climbs out of the bath, hurriedly drying himself off and following me to the bedroom.</p><p>“If you are only trying to change the subject, you are wildly underestimating my persistence,” he says. “I will bring it up immediately afterwards.”</p><p>“Not if you are so thoroughly fucked you can neither speak nor think,” I answer shamelessly.</p><p>He blushes and grabs my hand, yanking me over to the bed and practically throwing me down on the sheets.</p><p>In some ways – many ways – thirty-eight is no older than twenty-five, and nothing has changed.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p> </p><p>In the morning, Ferdinand sneaks up behind me as I sit at the kitchen table and snatches away the newspaper I am reading.</p><p>I curse as he pulls out the spy reports I had hidden behind the newspaper so as to read them with my morning coffee unbeknownst to him.</p><p>“Hubert!” he says angrily.</p><p>“Yes, I am having the new prime minister stalked. Judge all you like but-”</p><p>“No, I knew that already,” he interrupts, waving away my comment with his hand. “My exclamation is in regards to the fact that she is proposing a decrease in the budget for public education! Hubert, we cannot let that happen. That is utterly unacceptable!” He shoves the papers back in my lap and grabs his coat. “Come on! We must speak with her at once. I will not stand for this.”</p><p>“If you read a little further, it says that-”</p><p>“Tell me on the road,” he says. “We must leave at once!”</p><p>I call out for him to wait but he is already out the door. With a sigh, I tug on my boots, gloves, and coat and follow him outside. Thankfully I have the presence of mind to grab an umbrella because within a minute it starts to rain, as it is apt to do this time of year with no warning whatsoever. </p><p>As I catch up to Ferdinand, I snap the umbrella open and hold it overhead. He links his arm through mine and says, “Good thinking, my dear.”</p><p>“Ferdinand, listen to me. She is not proposing a budget cut. You misread. She is proposing a shift in the source of funding and it is actually a smart and strategic proposal. You are getting riled for nothing.”</p><p>He stops suddenly, standing in the middle of a puddle and staring at me aghast. “Really?”</p><p>“Yes. You are being ridiculous, my love.”</p><p>“I… I…” he sputters for a second then sighs. “I suppose I am. And now our boots are soaked for no reason and your coffee will be cold.”</p><p>“Why are you so eager to sprint off to the palace and unleash hell on the minister?” I ask.</p><p>“I just wanted to…”</p><p>“Have control over things no longer in your purview?”</p><p>His chagrin turns to anger as he replies, “And what is the purpose of all your spies and reports if not to have some pretense of control?”</p><p>“I am not claiming to be any better than you in this matter.”</p><p>He sighs in disgust. “The pair of us… Complete fools. I cannot believe-” He stops abruptly as someone walks past us. </p><p>But the young man stops and looks closer. “Minister Aegir? Minister Vestra?” </p><p>“I am not a minister anymore,” Ferdinand replies a bit testily.</p><p>The young man looks uneasy but perseveres. “I work for one of the local papers. Would you… would you be willing to grant me an interview? Many of our readers are curious as to what Adrestria’s Two Jewels are going to do in retirement. If you would be so kind as to grant me a few minutes sometime, I would be very grateful!”</p><p>I restrain the urge to level a murderous stare at him by busying myself with taking off my glasses and cleaning the raindrops off of them with the edge of my scarf. Ignoring him is rude, but less so than glaring.</p><p>Ferdinand, always more gracious than me even when in a bad mood, nods politely and says, “If you would like to leave a calling card at my office, I will gladly follow up with a time and date.”</p><p>“Thank you!” the reporter says eagerly.</p><p>Ferdinand offers him another nod and says, “Good day, sir.”</p><p>“Good day, Minist-” He catches himself and says, “Mister von Aegir, Mister von Vestra.”</p><p>“Please mention in your interview that I will personally burn to the ground the offices of the next paper that dares call us the ‘Two Jewels,’” I tell Ferdinand after the reporter has dashed away.</p><p>Ferdinand chuckles, the encounter having eased his temper. “Is that what I should say Mister von Vestra is planning to do in his retirement? Wage war upon the free press?”</p><p>I mutter a curse under my breath and turn on my heel, walking in the opposite direction of the palace but not towards our flat either. Ferdinand jogs over to shelter under the umbrella again and asks, “Where are you going?”</p><p>“Since my coffee will be cold, let us go to Ander’s instead for breakfast and coffee.”</p><p>Ferdinand brightens at the mention of our favorite café and says, “Good idea. A pastry sounds delightful.”</p><p> We walk in silence for several minutes, listening to the rain and the clatter of footsteps, carriage wheels and hoofbeats on the cobblestone streets. Then I ask, “What will you tell him about our plans for retirement?”</p><p>“I do not know, but I intend to have settled on an answer by the end of breakfast. You are not getting out of this conversation any longer. And forcing you to have it in a public place is my best bet because you cannot distract me with sex,” he answers.</p><p>“You underestimate my ability to just warp you away to somewhere private and seduce you,” I reply.</p><p>“Maybe learning a strong silence spell will be what I will do with my extra time,” he grumbles.</p><p>“I am amazed you have not done so sooner.”</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p> </p><p>The interview publishes the following week and per Ferdinand’s request does not feature the phrase <em> ‘Adrestria’s Two Jewels,’ </em> nor does it include any speculation on the whereabouts or actions of Edelgard.</p><p>I clip it from the paper and tuck it into the envelope of my latest letter to Edelgard, along with several other items of news she will find interesting. Her last letter, a joyously long five-page missive, lies open on my desk so that I can be sure to address each of her points and answer her questions.</p><p>After penning these responses, I stop for a moment to consider how to phrase the rest of the thoughts I aim to convey in this letter. How I wish I could say them in person. But I am better at expressing my honest thoughts in writing anyways and I do not want to wait until Garland Moon when we are set to meet up with Edelgard and Byleth in Derdriu for the spring festival Lorenz has invited us to.</p><p>I puzzle over it for a good quarter of an hour, half-distracted by listening to Ferdinand playing the pianoforte in the next room. Then I take my glasses off, rub my tired eyes, put them back on, and write.</p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>
    <em> ‘Your last command to me was to be happy. I thought at the time that you meant for me to be free of responsibility and to indulge in the rest and leisure that I have never prioritized before. And perhaps you did. But I think you will forgive me if I follow your command in a different way than you intended. </em>
  </p>
  <p>
    <em> ‘Retirement does not suit me and the four or five hours I spend in my office, distracting myself with small projects and requests for counsel, are insufficient enough to occupy my mind enough that the darker aspects of it cannot resurface to torment me. It is not just that I am unused to leisure and can learn to enjoy it; it is that the experiences of the war have shaped my nature irrevocably to the point where I must have work to focus on. In uncertainty and freedom I become a person I do not wish to be. </em>
  </p>
  <p>
    <em> ‘If you want me to be happy, you must allow me to disregard your other wishes for me. The picture that you have painted in your mind of Ferdinand and I settling down in the country and living a quiet, idyllic life are impossible. In another world, maybe it would have been possible. But this Hubert in this world is no longer capable of it.  </em>
  </p>
  <p>
    <em> ‘Ferdinand and I have decided to return to work, albeit in a different capacity. I agree that a Fódlan not at war should no longer be ruled by warriors and that the leaders who will guide our world into the future cannot be those shackled by their experiences and upbringing to the dead past. We will not draft legislation, nor seek positions of political power. </em>
  </p>
  <p>
    <em> ‘We are going to open an institute to historical research and study. So much of Fódlan’s history was suppressed by the church. We mean to learn the truth of it and make that truth accessible to future generations. We belong to a world that no longer exists, but maybe that is how we can be of use. We can research and educate. We can fight to keep the mistakes of the past from being repeated in the decades to come. </em>
  </p>
  <p>
    <em> ‘I hope, my dear friend, that you will approve of this course of action. And I hope you will understand that I am following your order and that I am happier and more at peace than I have been in quite some time, as is Ferdinand. </em>
  </p>
  <p>
    <em> ‘Please give our love to Byleth and know that we are looking forward greatly to the spring festival. </em>
  </p>
  <p>
    <em> ‘Yours always, </em>
  </p>
  <p>
    <em> Hubert.’ </em>
  </p>
</blockquote><p>I read over the paragraphs carefully then pick up my pen to add a postscript.</p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>
    <em> ‘P.S. Ferdinand has finished the third movement of his sonata. He has changed it slightly from that first attempt we heard that one night, but kept the original melody of it the same, at Dorothea’s urging and my determined insistence. It is very beautiful and he plays it often. Whenever he does, we think of you. Like his sonata, we are incomplete in only two parts. The third is what tied us together into a cohesive whole. But we are both far more content with the thought of you gone and happy than present and lonely. I do not write this to make you sad, merely to remind you that you are loved and missed and wherever you wander, you and Byleth will always have a home to return to should you need a reprieve from your travels. There is space on the sofa for four.’ </em>
  </p>
</blockquote>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thanks for reading! Do you have prompts for scenes/ideas you want to be explored in this collection? Hit me up in the comments or on Twitter @lalexanderwrite!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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